Converts becoming Rabbis

Apparently, it’s really common for converts to Judaism to become rabbis. Hell, one of our Hillel rabbis is one of them. Another of them wrote the book The Choosing, which you all need to read. One of my friends told me not to be the “stereotypical convert.” He asked me not to become a rabbi. I knew that there were people who converted and became rabbis, but I wasn’t aware that it was some kind of stereotype in the Jewish community. Rabbis Hillel and Akiva were both descendents of converts – this is often cited as proof of the good converts bring to the Jewish people. Basically, converts are no less capable of being leaders in the Jewish community than born Jews. But the idea today is that converts get excited about their learning and Judaism and want to continue it, so they become rabbis. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. If you love something so much of course you would want to help others find that same love and of course you would want a profession where you could be totally immersed in the thing you love.

I thought about what my friend said to me, and honestly, it’s a silly thought. Me, a rabbi? I would make a terrible rabbi. My voice is terrible, I don’t like when crowds of people are looking at me, and I take things way too personally. I become invested in people I shouldn’t become invested in. I will worry about them day and night. (I have to deal with this as a future teacher.) Plus, I just don’t want to be a rabbi. I wonder if converts really do just get excited and become rabbis, not really thinking about the job that “rabbi” brings with it. As a congregational rabbi, the congregation is your boss but you’re the authority. What a complicated relationship. You’re responsible for children, teens, adults, and the elderly. Plus all the interfaith stuff that happens in big cities these days. Sure, you can choose not to participate but that won’t help bring peace to your Jewish community. I don’t think I’d ever be comfortable doing interfaith work as the sole representative of Judaism in dialogue with a priest. It would just weird me out too much.

Becoming a rabbi is a big commitment and it can’t be made lightly. I’ve seen the way converts can burn out on Judaism. They don’t give up (well, I’m sure some have). But they go in observant/committed and after a few years they’re tired of it. It’s hard… Now, add in being a rabbi to that. You’ve spent years of your life plus tons of money on an education for a job you maybe don’t want or aren’t cut out for and then you start resenting the religion that got you into this mess in the first place. I’m not saying this is exactly what happens. I’m just saying it could happen and that’s probably why my friend asked me not to become a rabbi.

I’m not thinking of becoming a rabbi. Since I was 16, I have been committed to becoming a teacher. That dream has changed slightly in that I’ve changed which subject and which type of school I want to teach in. But other than those two things, I’ve been consistent with my life goal and from the beginning I’ve found Judaism to go right along with it. Judaism values education and educators. Judaism values civil rights and equality. Judaism values the individual. I never once thought of changing my life course because of Judaism. I think about Judaism enhancing the course I’ve been on since I was in the tenth grade when a teacher half-heartedly asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I want Judaism to help make me a better person and a better teacher, because that’s who I am. I don’t want Judaism to change me. Becoming a rabbi would be changing who I am, and that’s not OK. No matter how much I love Judaism and love learning about it, I can’t change who I am.

Luckily, Judaism values life-long learning. I can take as many classes as want at my synagogue or JCC. If I ever save up enough, I could study at Pardes or another university in Israel one summer. My learning won’t cease after the mikvah and it wouldn’t have to if I didn’t go to rabbinical school. And one day, G-d willing, I will get to teach Judaism to my children. That is all I need.