Looking Down on Others

Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up – Jesse Jackson

At one of our recent Torah study sessions, my friend explained the Jewish world in an interesting way to me. Jews look down on those who do more and those who do less than they do. For example, a Conservative Jew doesn’t understand why the Reform don’t observe Jewish Law as much as he/she does, but looks down on the Orthodox for doing more. The idea is that you’re lazy if you do less and you’re crazy if you want to do more than *I* do. Now, most Jews might not admit this and definitely wouldn’t word it this way, but he has a point. Among the movements, there is a lot of tension. They all have different ideas. But what it always comes back to is level of observance and I think this can be the hardest thing for converts to deal with. My friend for a long time was struggling with what kind of Jew he is but ultimately concluded he was still a Conservative Jew, because he was raised that way. Converts have to pick for themselves what movement to associate with and what level to observe the various laws. The whole looking down on anyone who observes differently than you do is annoying, superficial, but somewhat true, at least in my experiences.

Here’s how I know his explanation of the Jewish World is true. I’ve been a running joke in my friend group for almost the last year and a half. I try not to let it get to me, but it’s really getting old. Every time I know something, people laugh. Of course I know, I read about Judaism and the Jewish world for hours a day, why is that funny? When people find out I study Torah with this friend, most people find that strange and ask why. You’re going to services on Saturday morning, why? You’re going to an Orthodox Seder and not the Hillel Seder? Why? Why not? Some people are over it; some people are not. The question is becoming more important to me as I move deeper in my journey because this joke could turn into, “well you’re not actually Jewish” or “you’re not a born Jew” once I’m converted. I mean, people have already made comments like that to me. I know that this is an unavoidable part of being a convert, but it’s not cool when it’s coming from people you trust. How could I ever stand up to strangers if I can’t even deal with my friends who don’t like when I’m more observant or knowledgeable than they are? 

See, my friend let’s me disagree with him. He’s a pluralist in that way. But most Jews I meet are not, even if they think they are. If they’re Reform, they’re Reform because they like being Reform and don’t really get the Orthodox. If they’re Orthodox they don’t understand any movement that doesn’t accept and observe the Torah as the literal word from G-d. It’s really tough. For the sake of argument, let’s say there are 15 million Jews in the world (different censuses say different things). That means there are 15 million ways to be a Jew. And we add one more for every convert who joins the tribe. No two Jews are the same. Judaism is almost 4,000 years old. There is a lot to be learned and infinitely many ways to interpret the Torah. If someone finds meaning in the way they observe, why do you get to look down on them? Ask yourself first if you find meaning in the way you’re observing or if you’re doing things blindly. Ask yourself is this what G-d intended when He commanded this action?