When I originally started reading about Judaism online, I also was reading about Islam. There were a few ideas in Islam that spoke to me. So after getting so excited about Shabbat at Hillel, I decided to take the most logical approach to religion: learn about it all. I couldn't risk getting all invested in one religion only to one day discover a new one and change course again. Over the next seven months, I took every opportunity I could to learn about world religions.
I attended a lecture during Discover Islam Week on our campus and subsequently read all 15 or so pamphlets they had at the check in table. I also signed up for a free English translation of the Qur'an and read parts of it. I read about Buddhism online and bought the Dhammapada, The Sayings of the Buddha. I also investigated Hinduism, Taoism, and even Christianity. But wait, didn't I give up on Christianity? Well, I was raised Catholic so I just double checked with the other denominations (Quakers and Presbyterians mostly) - they all pretty much have one unwavering thing in common.
It didn't take long for me to eliminate Hinduism from the list of possibilities: it too closely resembles Christianity. I understand that, like Judaism, Hinduism has an all encompassing cultural aspect. But its theological aspects are nearly identical to those that I've already ruled impossible. A human incarnation of a deity, to me, is not possible.
Of all the other religions, Islam was the most fascinating to learn about. For some reason, this religion seemed so foreign and unaccessible to me. Learning about Islam has challenged me in the ways I think about life, G-d, and the world. I love that Islam is a monotheistic religion in the way that I understand monotheism. But after much reading and discussion with Muslims, I realized that this definitely wasn't my religion. Like Christianity, there are things you have to believe in, otherwise you can't become a Muslim. For example, you have to believe in the afterlife and you have to believe that the Qur'an is the unadulterated word of G-d brought to us by the prophet Muhammad. I believe that the Qur'an has a good message, but I don't believe it's possible for humankind to have the true words of G-d. G-d is not human and does not speak the way that we speak. And most of all, the narration of the Qur'an just doesn't captivate me the way that other texts (religious or otherwise) do. Some will immediately respond to this by saying I have to read it in Arabic! The translation is not the truth! Well, I read the Hebrew Bible in translation and its narrative is still captivating. I know that poetry gets lost in translation, but not all of it.
I stayed interested in Buddhism for several months, until I actually got up the nerve to attend an Intro to Buddhism class. The sayings of the Buddha were so insightful. Ultimately, though, the fact that meditating is the most important aspect of this religion is most unappealing. Also, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with G-d. Buddhism is not a god-centered religion. I've read that some Buddhist teachers don't care if you believe in G-d, but they obviously aren't going to address that or teach you anything new about G-d. At that first Intro class, I was most distracted. I couldn't focus on what the teacher was saying, for I did not find it interesting. And a few times, he mentioned ideas and I would think "Well in Judaism they say this...." I resolved not to return to the class and to close the door on Buddhism. I do still like to read the Dhammapada sometimes, but I know that meditation would be impossible for me. My brain is constantly moving and changing direction and I don't want to change that. If I controlled my brain to calm it down, I wouldn't think of half the things I come up with. I would have no more good ideas and would lose my creativity. Without my creativity what am I?
Making sure to cover all the bases, I read a book about atheism. I don't need to say much besides I wasn't convinced. Although, I must admit I don't think I picked a very good book. The author seemed to only care about disproving Christianity, which I don't need done for me.
At some point in the middle of all this, I took this awesome quiz on Beliefnet that ranks your religious beliefs. The questions are pretty intense, not generic at all. Most questions have 6 choices so it's not obvious which religion the answer relates to (most of the time). Anyways, the quiz then ranks how your beliefs match up with 27 different religions. My results were quite interesting. They were: 1. Reform Judaism 100% 2. Liberal Quakers 88% 3. Unitarian Universalism 87% 4. Baha'i Faith 80% 5. Orthodox Judaism 79% ... 27. Roman Catholic 28%.
The results of this quiz made me both happy and sad. On the one hand, I had statistical proof that I fit into Judaism as far as belief. On the other hand, I was raised Catholic and it scored dead last with only 28%? That's really low. I thought I'd score at least 40 or 50%... Nonetheless, I've had to come to terms with the fact that Catholicism is my family's religion due to tradition more than faith.
I actually read about all 27 faiths that this quiz ranked and none stuck out so much as Judaism.
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