The Afterlife

You'd think that I would have included this post in my earlier posts about Christianity and why it doesn't suit me... but to be perfectly honest, I don't think about the afterlife that much so it only recently occurred to me. In short, I don't believe in the afterlife, an afterlife, life after death, or whatever other way you want to spin it.

I've heard the argument that there has to be an afterlife, otherwise there is no justice, and G-d is just. This seems logical enough... But why does there have to be justice? The truth is, that we don't really know what G-d does, so we can't definitively say that He pursues justice. Maybe there is justice here and we just don't recognize it. We're measuring justice by our own ruler, not G-d's, so we could be doing it all wrong...

Anyways, my argument is just as logical: if there were another life, why did G-d put us here in this one? Why wouldn't he just stick us in this other life to start with? There is some purpose to our existence in this mortal, physical world.

So, yeah, I do think that when it's over, it's over. My roommate and I discussed this at length not long ago. She is Catholic and totally believes in the afterlife. She said that when her grandpa died, she immediately knew that he was in heaven with her grandma and that she was happy about that. I guess it's great that she has such faith in this idea. But she doesn't really know; she only believes. What I do know, is that her grandpa, and everyone else who's ever died, isn't here.

When I think about people who've died, like my close friend from junior high school, I just think that it really sucks that they aren't here experiencing life. In the spring of eighth grade, my friend died. He had a pacemaker, and essentially, it stopped working. Not only did it stop working, but it stopped working at track practice, which I was at. It was a Tuesday. I was one of the only girls who saw what happened because I was in the pole vault pit next to where the boys were sprinting. It was a terrifying experience. The next day at school, the coaches and EMTs who responded talked to us, and told us he was doing fine. They told us the doctors would be able to fix him. That Friday, his parents pulled his younger brother out of school to come say good bye. I went to his funeral, where teachers and mentors spoke about what a wonderful person he was and the pastor spoke about heaven.

In all the days that have followed his death, I have never once felt comfort in heaven. I never felt that he was with G-d, or Jesus, or his grandparents, or anyone else. I didn't feel relieved that his suffering was over. All I felt was that it sucks that he's not here. And every milestone, big or small, that passed, I thought about how he wasn't experiencing it. He didn't get to start high school with us, or go to homecoming or to prom, or scream with us at football and basketball games, or apply to college, or stress out about what to do with the rest of his life. He didn't get freshmen move in day, or get to choose a major, or change his major 3 or 4 more times. He won't graduate college, or get married, or have kids, or grow old with the love of his life. And that freaking sucks.

I am constantly reminding myself to savor every moment, because the moments will expire eventually. I scrapbook and save the most random things that everyone else discards but I know are important. One day I will look back at a ticket stub or at a random holiday fact card from Hillel and be reminded of what a glorious time I am having. I know that I only have a certain amount of time on earth, and I don't have time to waste. The first time I told my roommate that I don't believe in the afterlife, she responded by saying that that is scary and it makes each day super important. Yes, each day is super important, and I try not to forget that. When I start to complain about my college classes, I remind myself that there are millions of people who don't have the luxury of complaining about that.

I should include that I do believe in the immortal soul. I think that when you die, you soul is at peace and will be at one with G-d. But your soul doesn't go somewhere else to live, it just exists somehow. As a friend helped me figure out, consciousness does not go hand in hand with a soul, so your soul will continue to live without "you" being conscious of it.

I know that I could be wrong. There could be an afterlife. But what happens if you spend your whole life banking on an afterlife and miss out on opportunities because you are always thinking there's more time, and then you die, and nothing happens? If I spend my whole life worried about this world and this life, doing good for people, loving my friends and family, being the best person I can possibly be, thinking that there is no afterlife, then there actually is one, I will be pleasantly surprised. But the person who spent his whole life sure of an afterlife and there isn't one, won't be pleasantly surprised. He won't be surprised at all. He won't be anything. Because his life will be over, and nothing happens after death.