It seems rather trite that I would even discuss nonconformity in a blog like this. The whole concept centers around nonconformity. But the truth is, I've never really been able to conform fully. Everywhere I went, every group I found myself in there was always one little piece of me that didn't quite fit. Whether I was with the cheerleaders, or the honors kids, or the art kids, or the Christians, or the atheists, I just didn't fully fit. I could never conform - not because I didn't want to, but because I literally couldn't. Something in me kept me from remaining the slightest bit different.There will always be times when I feel different, times when I have to suppress an opinion or two so I don't cause problems, or times when I have to suppress a part of my personality. But it sucks if those times are all the time. There were very few completely safe spaces for me growing up, and for a while in college I wasn't sure if I would find another one. The total, complete, no-bullshit truth is, that space is with my Jewish friends. I can be totally open and free with them. And they are - for all intents and purposes - my Jewish community. It's good to be nerdy and know a lot of things. It's normal to be sarcastic and funny. Making mistakes, laughing, and being philosophical all in one sitting is a regular occurrence. I am at home with them whether or not I am technically Jewish. The best part is, though, that I don't feel like I am conforming or have to conform to anything. I am just being.
I am comfortable here and now even if it makes other people uncomfortable that I am not conforming to other standards.
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