The High Holidays: Yom Kippur

Yom Kippur. The Day of Atonement. The single most holy day in the Jewish calendar. What a day. Before Yom Kippur begins, Jews must apologize and seek forgiveness from other people for any sins they may have committed against them. Then on Yom Kippur, Jews seek forgiveness from G-d. No eating, no drinking, no showering, no leather shoes, no cologne or perfume, and no sex. People wear white to symbolize purity and becoming like the angels (because angels don't need any of the material things from which Jews abstain on this day). It's the day on which G-d seals His judgements in the Book of Life and the Book of Death. It's serious business.

I figured if I was going to participate in this day, I needed to really do it right and give it the respect it deserves. So, while I didn't turn my phone off and become perfectly observant, I did my best to abstain from material things in order to atone for my sins. It's a heavy burden and it makes you realize why it takes so long to become a Jew. I showered in the late afternoon right before leaving for Hillel; I put on a white dress and a white sweater and walked to Hillel (vs. driving there like I did on Rosh HaShanah). I actually made a friend on my walk to Hillel because the guy knew a girl walking down the street in all white after Labor Day had to be observing Yom Kippur. But I digress. I drank a lot of water and ate a lot of fruit during the entire 24 hours before the sun set to ease the fast period. When I was at home during the YK hours, I didn't use my computer or watch TV. As for my phone, I used it, but mostly to talk to my Jewish friends who were also weak from fasting...

After we'd all stuffed ourselves as much as possible during the pre-fast meal, we broke off into our respective Reform and Conservative services for Kol Nidre. According to Reuven Hammer, Kol Nidre is the most important service of the year: if a Jew attends only one service throughout the year, it is Kol Nidre. The Kol Nidre prayer cancels all vows for the year and is done when it is still light out. Then the evening service for Yom Kippur begins once the sun has set. The ma'ariv service contains many of the prayers I am familiar with but they had tons of additions and changes unique to YK. The Ashamnu and the Al het are the two big prayers for YK because they are confessional prayers. The Ashamnu is considered the lesser confession whereas the Al het is considered the great confession. People beat their fist against their chest during each verse of the Al het to symbolize contrition. [[For anyone who has never been to High Holy Day services and wants to attend next year, or any year, you should study up in advance. If I hadn't read Entering the High Holy Days, I would have been very confused by what was going on in this and the other YK services along with not being able to participate in or appreciate what I was experiencing.]]

The next morning I woke up (no coffee!) and schlepped myself back to Hillel for a few more hours. (For my thoughts on the Torah service, see the previous post.) When I returned to my apartment, I laid in bed and read Torah and just reflected on my life and the day. Then one final trip back to Hillel. I won't lie to you: paying attention in that final Ne'ilah service that evening was incredibly difficult. I was unbelievably thirsty.. and hungry.. but mostly thirsty. It didn't help that the rabbis started us late so that "we wouldn't be standing around staring at the food waiting to break fast" which subsequently lead to us going ten minutes past break fast. And on top of that, we were in a room which has giant windows looking at the cafe, so we could see the chef preparing all the food. But anyways, we made it and we felt great after.

Before this Yom Kippur, I'd never really fasted. It was hard. In junior high school, we were encouraged to do a mini-fast on days like Good Friday, but my mom wouldn't let me. She was always so worried about my food consumption that on fast days she made sure I ate more than I actually wanted. Besides that, a fast day in the Catholic Church is currently defined as a main meal and two smaller meals. Erm, does that sound like a regular day of eating to anyone? So fasting as I grew up is nothing like Yom Kippur fasting. But every time my stomach growled or I craved an oreo, I was reminded of what I was really doing and why I was doing it. The hardest part, actually, was not having water. I take medicine daily for chronic headaches and it causes dry mouth so I had a particularly difficult time abstaining from water. I still brushed my teeth and took my medicine, so I wasn't completely void of water. Water never tasted so good as it did that break fast.

Coming out of Yom Kippur, I truly felt as though I'd grown as a person and grown closer to G-d. Sometimes, when I get really, really thirsty, I am reminded of Yom Kippur. Thus, I am reminded that I am made in the image of G-d and need to live as such.